Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
