In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
