The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
