you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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