I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
