I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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