Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
