yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
