Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
