ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
cat food counts as protein by the way
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
