i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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