Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
