so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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