If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
