Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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