I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
