please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
