I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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