It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
