Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize