No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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