It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
