I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
