Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
