Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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