He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
