Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize