While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
