I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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