Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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