just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
A+ Viking dick
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
