Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Couch. On fire.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
