my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
