Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You need Xanax blowdarts
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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