While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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