I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
