i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
