it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
