I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
