oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize