Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
