I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
