I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Redeem this text for a blowjob
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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