I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
