Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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