The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
