It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
