How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
