I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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