I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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