I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
