You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
