You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
