I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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