butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
