Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
