babies were throwing up all over the place
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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