my vag is so smooth its legendary
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
