i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
