i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
